Saturday, October 1, 2011

Third and final offspring offering--Bring the Anarchy

So, now you know Faith & Love.

It's time for Anarchy.

Anarchy is four.  Tomorrow.  There will be a pirate cake.  I'll take pictures.

Truly speaking, he is the anti-anarchy.  He is sweet and cute and totally led astray by his sisters.  He has a little speech thingy that means he can't put two consonants together, which is adorable at this stage, but might need looking at if it's still around when he turns twenty-one.

He is eating the icing first and matchbox cars, warm hugs and raspberries on your face with little white teeth in them.  He is bats and balls, Spiderman and Lightning McQueen.

Anarchy is also our showboat (here's where you  insert, "Like his mother." if that's what you were thinking. And rightly so.).  He likes to dance like a lunatic so Faith & Love giggle.  He loves making 'gas bomb' noises on his own forearm.  He tells great jokes.

A:  "What do you call a peanut in space?"
Me: "I don't know, Anarchy, what do you call a peanut in space?"
A:  "An Astronut!"
Me:  *headslap*  "Oy."


A:  "Knock Knock."
Me:  "Who's there?"
A:  "Moustache" (pronounced with a 'mooo')
Me:  "Ah, a moustache who?"
A:  "Ummmmm..."
Me:  "Would you like a banana?"
A:  "Yes, please."  (He's very polite.)

(Of course, the proper answer to that joke, as I tell it, is, 'I moustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later.'  Snort.)

This is Anarchy under the clothesline, pretending that the blue sheet is the ocean,
 and he's diving for treasure.  He is wearing his 'better pants', which are trackies, 
but they are 'better pants' than jeans.  

But he's not all sweetness.  Despite his propensity for girly items (Nail polish, handbags, hair product.  Sparky feels a little threatened at this point, but I tell him school will soon pound all those cute quirks out of our boy.), he knows the words to some very dubious songs. This is one of his favourites.  (Which might be my fault, but I'm not copping to anything.).

Polyester Girl - Regurgitator.  
all i want you to say is nothing at all
and all i want you to do is stare at the wall
i love your plastic hair and plastic eyes
marvel at your plastic breasts and plastic thighs

my polyestergirl
so shiny
so shiny
so shiny
so shiny

you're the perfect guy's accessory
dangling from my arm for of the pretty people to see
boy's with sassy pouts and perky glee
great for backstage and entertainment award ceremonies
took you for a ride up in an aeroplane
but your body burst and left an ugly stain
had to take your pieces back to the factory
it took them several weeks to get you back to me
***she's my polyestergirl
shiniest in all the world
she's my polyestergirl
shiniest in all the world
she's my polyestergirl
shiniest in all the world 

Yes, it's a song about a sex toy.  It's massively inappropriate and hilarious.  Sparky raises his eyebrows.  

Sparky's more of a rock dude, but does a mean falsetto of his own.  He also dances beautifully to Katy Perry on the Wii.  Something I have felt the need to video in the past.  I am keeping it for leverage, should the need ever arise.

So, those are the offspring.  In all their sassy, perky glee.  

Sparky and I would be completely lost without them.  


  1. You have a brood of characters, Em. LOL! Love his diving for treasure.

  2. Thank you, ladies. He is especially lovely when he's asleep... LOL! x



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